Well, hell, ya gots Fineschwine, Schmucky Shroomer, Fauxcaontas, Uncle Bernie, Eric Fartswell, and now Uncle Festerman.
Quite the scurvy bunch, eh?
A horse would at least create a useful biproduct, instead of the same thing only metaphoric.
A distinction without a difference?
Caligula wanted an entire horse to be a Senator.
Most states are content to settle for just the back half.